If you’ve never checked out the Missed Connections section on Craigslist, you’re seriously failing at life and should probably punch yourself in the face. And no, not because you’re going to find Mr. Right (or even Mr. Right Now) on there, but because it’s the best damn source of daily entertainment on the Internet. Honestly, just think about all those hopeless romantics and freaks posting super weird descriptions of wannabe lovers they shared an imagined moment with from across a room. It took a little reading and digging, but we found 3 REALLY awesome ones in LA. Prepare to piss yourself people.
1. Grace the Massage girl from North Hollywood – I think I love you ! – m4w – 29 (Hoolywood)
(actual image used in ad….um, yeah…)
Yesterday you gave me the best massage I ever got…
Your hands were as soft as velvet… your smile was pure… your voice was addicting – I couldn’t stop smiling. mostly inside.
I left after the 75 minutes thinking to myself how can I live now without your amazing hands… without your touch… without your massage …:)
I would marry you , but I’ll settle for a massage once a week as well… 😉
I’ll pay you whatever you want.
I need you. I never fell in love so fast in my life… you are something special.
You were a young black girl with cute braces and beautiful braided hair. I told you it looks painful. Stupid me. What a way to start a conversation…
I am the French guy with the weird accent.
And I’m sorry I gave you a Tip near the cashier… I didn’t know you’re not allowed to take tips or else I’d give you in the room where no one is watching.
Hopefully if you don’t read that – I’ll see you next time… but I doubt it.
But if you read that – please give me a chance… I’ll make you my queen ! I promise…
2. Gina, you crashed on the 110 off fig exit – m4w – 20 (fig exit off 110 pasadena)
(image via foundshit.com)
Gina,
You crashed your car off the 110frwy and it was pretty late at night on sunday night/monday morning.
I felt pretty bad for you and wanted to smoke you out but your dad was coming to help you so you took my info and said youd hit me up but you never did lol guess this is a long shot, because you seemed kinda drunk and you might have forgotten.
Hope to hear from you soon. =)
tell me what happened to your car if its you for some miracle.
3. Dear Trader Joe Angel – m4w (Vine Street, Hollywood)
(image via maternique.com)
Dear Trader Joe Angel,
Today, Thursday August 23, around 6:45 p.m. I made my way to the 2nd to last checkout stand furthest from the entrance.
And there she was.
Tall like myself, a natural brunette beauty with a gentle presence.
I would have liked to say hello but my mind was elsewhere.
Maybe with your amazing powers TJ Angel, she’ll check out Missed Connections,
and find out that a great guy would like to introduce himself and perhaps there’s a chance for us to strike up a terrific friendship.
When she happens upon this post, ask her to tell me what items she was carrying away.
