Unlike the mimosa’s that can sometimes (best-case scenario) follow, morning after’s don’t always go down easy. Depending on the number of hours you’ve known the person, and the amount of wine consumed the night before, they can be straight-up horrendous. Between morning breath and the strong likelihood of your eyeliner traveling somewhere off the line of your eye, I understand why so many rom-com characters – and real-life ladies – perform the old “scoop and roll”.
I’m pretty much cool with looking like I just woke up from the trash can, because love me or leave me, I can’t deceive ye. Still, there’s a good 15 minutes of tortured wondering at the ceiling. Should I stay or should I go? Does he want me to stay or is he just waiting to pull a Jon Hamm in Bridesmaids and going to shamelessly tell me he really wants me to leave? Or, are we going to get brunch? If not, would it be weird if I asked him how to find the closest McDonald’s?
I have to admit, all the awkward morning-after stuff is sort of charming. In a slightly neurotic Woody Allen type of way. It’s not exactly a rite of passage, casual sex isn’t for everyone; but it does admit you into a very specific club of dating experiences. Even when it’s painfully awkward, and you’re fleeing the scene before you’ve found the other sock, at least you’ll have a funny story to tell your friends later.
But what do you do when you wake up and don’t feel the urge to run braless out of this strange guy’s apartment? Sometimes, the magic of an evening magically creeps into the next morning. And if you’re both into it, it can turn into a funny, but sweet second act to your date. Or the first, if the night before was extra casual. Good job, you!
Use your signals. Once you’re in bed with someone, it’s easy to feel bold. And when you’re both really into each other, you feel even less incentive to do the roundabout. But please, don’t spill all your beans like a clumsy teenager working his first day at Starbucks. Playing a little red-light, green-light game will help keep the mood light as well. Make a joke about your bedhead or your poor decision in shoes that you now have to wear home. Playful flirting shouldn’t go away just because the deal was sealed.
Read his carefully. I know it’s obvious. But when we’re wrapped up in a particularly cozy pair of sheets with a new body we’re diggin, it can be really tempting to ignore certain things. Like the fact that he offered up a Round 2, but hasn’t offered to help you get home. Or that when he got up for a glass of water, he didn’t come back with one for you. It might be early, and he might be hungover. But if he’s not at least courteous to the girl in his bed, he’s probably going to be lame after 10 AM, too.
Make plans later. It’s my own personal rule of thumb that the person hosting should be the one to extend the breakfast invite. Home-made or out. But some coffee, at least. Not offering doesn’t mean he’s uninterested. Even smitten people have work to do and showers to take. Chances are, you’ll be able to tell if your feelings are reciprocated, even without a plate of eggs. Get his number (if you didn’t have it already), mention again that you had a great time, and tell him you’ll talk later. Digging out the planner to arrange the next date is a lot for anyone to pull off, pre-caffeine.
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