Penis. It is a word I say about 150 times per day. Being gay, there is never an appropriate time to not use the word penis. Everywhere I look, there are penis-shaped objects. Every time I visit the bathroom, I get to play with my own.
I have to admit though, that I am not actually a fan of the word. Penis, sounds like something attached to a 40-year-old investment banker that can barely stay hard because he is crunching numbers in his head while he is in bed. I prefer the word cock or dick, but those words aren’t socially acceptable in every setting. To solve this epic problem, I have compiled a list of 30 alternative ways to say the word penis. Your life has now been enriched. You are welcome. Now go out there, and enjoy your cock talk safely, and responsibly.
- Albino cave dweller
- Baby maker
- Baloney pony
- Beaver basher
- Beef whistle
- Bob Dole
- Bratwurst
- Chub
- Custard Launcher
- Deep V Diver
- Disco Stick
- Excalibur
- Fire Hose
- Flesh Flute
- Heat Seeking Moisture Missle
- Johnson
- Kickstand
- Lap Rocket
- Love Muscle
- Mayo Shooting Hotdog Gun
- Meat Popsicle
- One-eyed Trouser Snake
- One-eyed Wonder Weasel
- Yogurt Slinger
- Pink Oboe
- Pork Sword
- Skin Flute
- Steamin Semen Truck
- Tallywacker
- Tan Banana
