By the time we reach adulthood it’s nearly impossible to forge new, lasting friendships with other women outside of work or parenting. I mean, what’s a girl to do when she needs other like-minded girls to talk to, brunch with, and go out on life adventures with (seriously, you need someone to go on that Costa Rican kayak tour with). I caught up with Nermin Jasani, CEO & Founder of Lumelle for some easier-than-you think tips on how to pick up the gal pal of your dreams.
1. Host something. Host a game night or a wine and cheese party or a Friendsgiving or a New Years Eve bash. You’ll be surprised how many people will come out of the woodwork, especially if you’re providing booze. The same things that worked in college still apply today. Provide alcohol or food, people will follow the breadcrumbs (or vodka) and show up at your door. Note – I’m not suggesting having a kegger or a Mardi Gras party; something’s are best left to your college days. And while we’re on that, don’t have a tea party, unless you’re in England or English.
2. Ask your boyfriend/significant other to set you up. Believe it or not, your boyfriend/significant other knows women besides you (shocking, I know). Bat your eyelashes, and in your sweetest voice ask him to set you up on a coffee date with a co-worker or old college friend or his frat buddy’s fiancee. Word of caution – I sincerely hope your boyfriend/significant other isn’t foolish to set you up with an ex, or someone he had a fling with. Leave him if he tries. Stupidity like that can be contagious.
3. Be available. Friendship dating is just like regular dating (go figure). If you’re not available the first couple times a new friend or acquaintance asks you to hang out, she’s eventually going to stop trying and think you’re not interested. So, when she texts you to grab brunch, re-arrange your calendar. If you were planning to go to the gym, go later or invite her. Being available in a friendship is 90% of being a friend.
4. Meet in Person. Stop texting and emailing and Facebooking and Instagramming. In this techno-driven society we’ve forgotten how to interact in person. Instead of texting a friend or an acquaintance, call her. Arrange a date over the phone. This way she can’t say she forgot to text you back or didn’t see your email. This might be a little counterintuitive because I set up a technology website, but I want people to connect on Lumelle and take that connection off the computer and bring it face to face. Why? Because you’re beautiful — more beautiful than your highlight reel you display on your social media account. People should see your beautiful personality, in person.
5. Join Lumelle. I created Lumelle to make finding new friends drama-free. It’s simple; answer questions about yourself, and you’ll get matched to other members who are similar to you. Then, you can reach out to your matches based on your unique friendship compatibility and arrange to meet for coffee or a drink. Or attend an event I’ll be hosting or create your own an event. If you create an event, i.e., checking out a play or a new restaurant, then other members can RSVP directly to your event. Voila, you have new friends and multiple ways to make them. The benefit of joining Lumelle, besides that it’s free, is that all Lumelle members already have something in common — they’re looking for new friends.
