They say that in relationships, a little jealousy is a good thing. When you are dating someone, a bit of jealousy might stir up the romance, and create some passion. Does it work the same way with friendships, though? The short answer is no.
The reason it works in relationships is because relationship jealousy has nothing to do with comparison. When you get jealous of some random hoe that comments on your boyfriends Facebook wall, you are jealous because someone is trying to step on your territory. Spun the right way, this can make your man feel wanted and loved.
When you get jealous of a friend’s promotion, good fortune, or new relationship, your feeling stem from a comparison between you and her. You are looking at her life, and focusing about how much better it is than yours. Instead of being happy for her, you are angry that she has what you deserve. This can create an uncomf situation for everyone involved, especially if you get so crazy that you go single white female on her ass.
Jealousy is a natural emotion, and no matter how much you love your friends, you are bound to feel it at one time or another. So how do you get around the negativity of it? Simply admit it.
Admitting how envious you are of your friend not only takes the thoughts out of your head, but it can become a joke between the two of you. If you keep your envy inside, it festers and drives a wedge between you. If you put it all out in the open, you are being honest with your friend and yourself, and will probably end up with a healthier friendship for it.
So if your friend has a great new job, feel free to call her a bitch. If she is happy in her relationship, tell her in graphic detail how you would sleep-rape her man every night if you were in her place. If she found $100 on the ground, playfully suggest that she take you out for drinks and tapas.
Open honesty is a keystone to any relationship, whether friendship or otherwise, and it will cock-block jealousy hands down, every time.
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I’ve dealt with these feelings over the years. It may be normal but I admit to feeling bad about them…kind of like when your friend loses weight and you want to feed her Ding Dongs. Lots and lots of Ding Dongs. 😀 BTW, I can’t quit laughing at the picture. Shared on FB.