Do you wonder if you will ever grow up? Are you 30 years old, but still feel like a 13-year-old? Do you wear full-length jammies to bed and think that your blanket will protect you from the boogeyman, the dark, and other sexually transmitted diseases? If you have ever felt like a child trapped in a grown-up’s body and questioned whether you would ever feel your age, you should try adulting. Luckily, Kelly Williams Brown wrote a book called Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps.
I resolved a long time ago that I would never grow up. I wanted to maintain my blissfully delusional Peter Pan Syndrome as long as possible. Then when the crows feet started clawing into the side of my face, I realized the jig was almost up, and I had to face the fact that youth fades. There are plenty of different ways to be an adult, and nobody is saying you have to think or act a certain way. Adulting is just a bunch of fun tricks and tips to make your life easier as you get used to the idea that you are only a few years away from early bird dinners and size XXL pampers. Below are a few examples from the book, which is available HERE.
Buy four sticks of deodorant
One will live in your bathroom. One will live in the car. One will live at the gym, if you belong, or in your significant other’s home, or wherever it is that you spend time besides your workplace and home. One deodorant shall rule them all, and it shall dwell in your desk at work, and at least once per year you will be so, so grateful for its existence.
Don’t mention how tired you are
Whoa, what? You’re tired? What a fascinating and rare tidbit! Also, this person will definitely be able to help you out on the sleep front.
When saying something difficult to someone you care about, use ‘and’ instead of ‘but’
This is a very simple but and very important concept. (See what I did there?) These two phrases would be heard very differently:
“I love you but I need you to respect my boundaries.”
“I love you and I need you to respect my boundaries.”
The word ‘but’ negates whatever came before it, while the word ‘and’ signifies that whatever comes next is a logical extension of the thought.
Be fine with being alone in a public place, as no one notices or cares you’re alone besides you
What you think others are thinking, when they see you alone: “Oh, gross. Look at that woman, eating teriyaki chicken all alone! God, how awful. What has she done, that she has no friends or family or significant other to care about her? Does she smell bad? What did she do to alienate everyone from her life?”
What people are actually thinking, when they see you are alone: “[Thoughts completely unrelated to you.]”
You can just enjoy the pleasure of your own company. You don’t have to fidget, or stare compulsively at your phone, or look around desperately for someone to save you from the terrible fate of not making boring small-talk.
You are a better grown-up than you think you are
I promise. You handle many aspects of your life superbly — it’s whatever you’re not good at that you hold up to yourself as proof of your non-adultness. Adulthood doesn’t have to be everything at once. It can be one small step at a time.
