In bathrooms all over the world, the duck face continues to reign as the most over-used facial expression for attention-seeking girls with unresolved daddy issues. You need to study the Origins of the Duck Face:
I’ll be the first to admit that I make fun of it on the regular, but when I am by myself taking a gratuitous selfie, I have caught myself doing it on more than one occasion, and I’m a boy. A boy with daddy issues perhaps, but still a boy. So where did the duck face originate, and why has it become such an annoyingly pervasive phenomenon?
One theory is that the duck face started off as a kissy face, but apparently there are a lot of really bad kissers out there. Rather than look like an elegant smooch, the duck face more closely resembles the face you make after you let out a fart in a public elevator.
Another theory is that the duck face came about as a means to make your lips bigger. The problem is that rather than make your lips look bigger, they widen and flatten them, and give them the appearance of a porn star’s blown-out vagina.
Another theory is that duck lips make you quirky and fun-loving. Ironic hipster glasses are quirky and fun-loving, duck-lips just make you look like a 19-year-old slut that doesn’t know what to do with her mouth if it isn’t wrapped around a beer bong or her “boyfriend’s” wiener. By boyfriend, I mean that guy that Facebook messages her after midnight all the time, but refuses to ever spend the night.
Long story short, the origins of the duck face may never be revealed, but at the end of the day they don’t really matter. Just please, make it stop. Snooki, I am talking to you, because I follow you on Instagram and am pleading with you to use your fame for good instead of evil.
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