ENTERTAINMENT Parenting

Reward Awesome kids with Alternative Merit Badges

alternative merit badges
Written by Gary

Alternative merit badges.

Scout badges get an alternative makeover.

alternative merit badges

I was never a boy scout. On one hand, I am glad I didn’t get molested by my scout leader. On the other, I feel like I missed out on a lot because I really like outdoor adventures, and knowing how to start a fire using nothing but sticks of wood seems like something everyone should know.

Artist Luke Drozd shares my ambivalence about boy and girl scouts, so he created ‘Alternative Scouting for Girls and Boys Merit Badges’, as part of a comic strip from his Threnodies book.

The patches come in standard sizes and can be sewn or ironed on to any jacket or sash. The alternative badges cover awesome activities like Grave Robbing, Arson, Violent Revenge, Curses & Hexes, Espionage, Money Laundering, Cryptozoology, Spirit Medium, Prank Calls, Home Dentistry, Mind Control, Cannibalism, Invisibility, Time Travel, Necromancy and Mob Justice.

READ MORE: This Luxury Lotus Tent Changes Camping Forever

Say what you will about the cub scouts, but if I ever have kids, I will reward them for good deeds with badges like this. After all, starting a fire from scratch is great, but necromancy has so many more practical uses with great potential for future revenue.

alternative merit badges alternative merit badges alternative merit badges

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About the author

Gary

Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall