It’s cold and rainy. These thoughts are brought to you by the lame-ass jeggings I’m wearing in an attempt to protect all the pants I really care about from the elements.
1) My Kid Thinks Tampons Are “Gifts.” This morning I decided to head downstairs to fill up Ben’s sippy cup with some more apple juice while I left him in my room, alone, for literally the 40 seconds it would take me to fill the cup. When I headed downstairs he was happily watching some race car video on my iPhone, so I thought I had at least 1 minute to get the job done. Unfortunately, what I came back to was very different than a happy 2 year old watching race cars. He had found his way into my bathroom and under the sink where I keep things like cotton balls, face masks, and obviously oodles of tampons. I found my 2 year old son unwrapping my not-so-luxurious Duane Reade brand tampon multi-pack and screaming “gift, gift!” as the papers went flying. Ugh. No, Ben, these are for MY monthly gift. The photo above is the actual crime scene just outside my bathroom. I can’t help if it’s a coincidence that he only started to unwrap the junior sized tampons.
2) I Need To Buy More Toy Trucks & Sponge Bob Stuff. Please refer to thought #1 for my reasoning. I have to keep my kid away from tampons as a source of entertainment.
3) I Still Need Your Help! Please sign my petition so I can be the next face of Dunkin Donuts… it’s a win-win, really. I get my face next to donuts, you get to eat free donuts as a result. Sign it here.
4) Jeggings Are Basically Stupid. Unless it’s a really rainy, crummy day and you like all your other pants too much to risk them being exposed to potentially fabric-killing acid rain. Aside from this, I can’t think of any other reasonable explanation for why they exist.
