CELEBS ENTERTAINMENT

Celeb Spotting: Shut Up, Angelina Jolie

Written by Olga

I would rather down beers with Jennifer Aniston any day of the week then spend a minute with the pretentious Angelina Jolie.

I have to get something off my chest: I can’t stand Angelina Jolie. I know liking her is supposed to be edgy because, well you know, she’s supposedly so edgy, but to me, everything that comes out of her big mouth is the epitome of pretentious. Her latest verbal assault on my ears was telling Bob Simon of 60 Minutes that she once considered becoming a funeral director. Really, Angelina? That’s so punk rock of you. You’re so weird and edgy! Now I kindly invite you to shut the fuck up.

I really can’t with this fake-ass, bitch. It’s like she lives her life to prove that she is more generous, sexy and better than you. She’s a mother of six! She’s a philanthropist! She’s an Oscar winner! She’s a director and screenwriter! She’s quasi-married to Brad Pitt! She’s thinner and better looking than you in every way! Gag. Me. With. A. Fucking. Chain. Saw.

Look, home-wrecking honey, maybe if you acquired some humility and did something truly genuine, you wouldn’t have to wonder why you don’t have any female friends. You can go to as many third-world countries as you please, but in the words of Chelsea Handler, I don’t fucking believe you.

About the author

Olga

Olga is a fast talking East Coast girl who takes no bull or prisoners. When not kicking a$$ and taking names, she can be found being awesome up and down the East Village. In her down time, Olga practices power yoga and drinks hand-crafted cocktails - sometimes at once.

1 Comment

  • Wow, I read your article and read..and watched Cnn with Angelina Jolie. Er, sorry, but I do not think she is JUST a home wrecker nor a poor me little thing. I, myself, know what it is like to be attractive and how people like yourself try to tear me down for that…but unlike people like YOu who can only see her as a pathetic little thing…I admire her…and Brad Pitt for doing inspiring things. I personally feel and empathethize with A. Jolie because I think she did make mistakes and has a dysfunctional past..given her relationship w.her father…therefore she is trying to desperately to make up for that guilt by doing right in the world with helping others who didn’t grow up with the money or admiration of others….she is HELPING people…..so before you think you are sooo cool for trashing someone like A. Jolie. Btw, did you ever think that maybe Angelina lied about her friends because she was trying to protect them from people like you who just like trash people for amusement? Hmm…there’s a thought.

Leave a Comment