I consider myself to be someone who is pretty open when it comes to communicating and getting what I want. If I have a problem with someone, I generally tell them to their face (especially if I have already said it behind their back). I do believe however, that there is a fine line between being upfront with someone, and being a whiny, complaining bitch. So when it comes to complaints and insults, do you spit or swallow?
I have a friend (using the term loosely) is a constant complainer. He walked into a room one time and we counted 5 complaints within the first 2 minutes of his diatribe. He complains because it makes him feel better (on some level). He feels like if he acts like nothing is good enough for him, it will counter-act his own feelings of not being good enough for anything. He uses complaining as a defense mechanism to help mend his low self-esteem. Is this healthy? I have no idea. Is it annoying? Absolutely.
Then, there are people who complain to get attention. They constantly play the victim so that people will pity them. People like this have no other way of garnering the spotlight, and they would rather attract negative attention than no attention at all.
Then, there are people who insult others to make themselves feel better. These people don’t generally like themselves, so they act bitchy in order to circumvent people’s opinions of them. If they act bitchy from the start, other people don’t even get a chance to make up their minds. It is sort of like owning the fact that you have a disability. If you wear your disability loud and proud, nobody can make you feel bad for it. Bitchiness doesn’t have its own Olympics, though.
So in my book, there is a golden rule. If you have an issue with someone, tell them. Spit. But he open to the fact that you may be in the wrong. Give them a chance to change your mind. Only tell them about it if there is some kind of positive resolution possible.
If you want to complain, decide on whether your problem is even worth your breath. Half the time it won’t be. Swallow. The rest of the time, only complain about it if there is some kind of positive resolution possible.
Insulting and complaining are typically pointless endeavors. They don’t make you any prettier, smarter, or younger. Working through life’s issues however, does. So think about that the next time you want to tear somebody down, or complain about how the whole world is out to get you.
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