Introducing Dark Chocolate Spray Tans

Dark chocolate spray tans make it possible to look black without the commitment.

‘Dark chocolate spray tans’ are a thing, and they’re about the most ridiculous thing we’ve seen since cornrows became ‘boxer braids’ to the beauty-loving masses.  While the majority of spray tans leave you looking like a burnt carrot, they’re sort of a good thing for a hearty portion of American’s sun-loving population — because skin cancer, no matter how you cut it, is a terrible thing to face (forget about all the other effects of sun damage like wrinkling and melasma).

READ MORE: Amazing Fake Tanning Fails

Emma Patissier has created one such advancement with the ‘dark chocolate spray tan’ because even if it’s the most obnoxiously non-PC name in the world, it’s the kind of thing you need to know more about, much in the same way you’re emotionally obligated to look at a car accident on the side of the road. Most spray tans aim for a sun-kissed look, but this Swedish brand offers color options like Coconut, Violet Onyx, Dark Ash Onyx, Caramel, Dark Chocolate, and Extreme, so that even people who are ghost-white can get as dark as they want. Read: this is the spray tan version of reverse Michael Jackson-ing.

I have never personally used a spray tan since I was blessed with naturally brown skin, but I can imagine Rachel Dolezal and is probably jumping for joy right now and wondering why she hadn’t found this stuff a few years prior to her big reveal as a white girl.

So here’s what we need to know:

1. Would you use ‘dark chocolate spray tans’ to achieve your desired non-ghostly color?
2. Do you think this is possibly offensive to a wide spectrum of races, or is it honoring thy neighbor?

Weigh in below.