ENTERTAINMENT

Date LiLo!

Written by Steph

As you might’ve heard, Lindsay Lohan is back on the market and looking for love. Lindsay recently created an e-Harmony video, proclaiming her desire to find a new piece of femme ass or man-meat. Sadly, the viral hit is probably the only thing she’ll be starring in for awhile.

She describes herself as “…an actress, a singer, an entrepreneur, and I have single-handedly kept 90 percent of all gossip Web sites in business. …I’m a workaholic, a shopaholic and, according to the state of California, an alcoholic, as well as a threat to all security guards if they work at hotels. And to put all those rumors to rest, I am not broke. I actually have over $400 in the bank and 20,000 Marlboro Miles, which I’m very proud of.”

What self-awareness! She forgot to mention her sparkling sense of humor, as the video was filmed and released on Funny Or Die, a viral haven for regular funny people and also disgraced celebrities who’ve finally caught on that making fun of themselves may be their only path to redemption (Paris Hilton released her response to John McCain‘s celebrity attack exclusively on FOD during election season).

Her mock dating ad is summed up by her closing statement: “So if you think you can handle a redhead with a little bit of sass— and by that, I mean, a redhead that’s crazy… we’ll crash a few parties, a car or two, but at the end of the day, I promise you I never lose my Google hits… just my underwear.”

Sounds like someone I’d like to date! Anyone have her number?

About the author

Steph

a born-and-bred Brooklyn brunette prone to excessive alliteration. Follow her on Twitter @omgstephlol. Read more here.

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