After having her wisdom teeth removed, a young girl admitted to her mom that she wanted Ryan Gosling’s white dick.
Every time I have ever woken up from surgery, I have been hungry. The girl in this video is no different except that she isn’t hungry, she’s starving, and the only thing on the menu is white dick.
This video has been making the rounds on The Internet lately, so I would have no journalistic integrity whatsoever if I didn’t at least mention it. Also, this girl is kind of my hero for saying exactly what we are all thinking. Here are a few great gems that spewed forth from her drug-addled mind:
“I just want to be a Kardashian. Please help me!”
“ I want to suck white dick.”
“ I want to have sex with Ryan Gosling.”
“ Is this what marijuana feels like? I don’t like it.”
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God bless her, both for being so candid with her mother in the room, and also for allowing herself to be recorded after surgery. She will now, forever be known as the girl who revealed the American dream to The Internet. Wouldn’t all our lives be better if we were Kardashians with access to Ryan Gosling’s white dick?
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