Eloise Moves To Brooklyn, Becomes Social Media Manager

Written by corey

You all know that bougie bitch Eloise, right? She used to live at the Plaza. She had some serious white girl problems, and just was unable to deal with everything that was happening. I mean, I get it. I’ve moved out of hotels before because they simply weren’t chic enough for me. Eloise though, she’s a total narcissist and that’s why we love her. She recently moved to the Wythe in Brooklyn and spends her time boozing up Angel Investors. It’s like Lena Dunham ripped off her whole idea and created Girls, ya know? Eloise is all the social media manager for the Wythe’s social accounts, including Instagram. Obviously Eloise does Instagram pretty well, she knows the only filters that matter are Lo-Fi, Valencia and Amaro.


If you didn’t know, Eloise was written by Kay Thompson over fifty years ago. Recently, New York Mag published an up-to-date version of the ultimate white girl. Eloise is exactly who I want to be when I grow up because she’s just so fabulous. In this episode, she wears Celine bags on her head and has an art student as a babysitter. I can totally related to this art-sitter, one of my babysitters was an art teacher. She always tried to get me to calm down by DIYing things and all I wanted to do was dance on the roof of happening hotels. No one has style like Eloise. You need to be Eloise. We all need to be Eloise.

Photos: [via]

About the author


Corey is a self-proclaimed heiress and the love child of Anne Boleyn and Marie Antoinette. He's a thug in a cocktail dress with a penchant for open-bars and puns. He has his barista's call him Beyonce and he's never been to Brooklyn.

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