Everybody Poops…Even Brenda Watson

I will confess upfront I have not tried any of the samples I was given – not the DietStart Cleanse and not the Fiber35 Diet FitSmart Shake in Chocolate Crème and Old-Fashioned Vanilla — and I probably never will. Supplements frighten me. I know the FDA isn’t perfect…but *some* sort of regulatory oversight from our friends in Washington usually makes me feel better. Otherwise how do you know you’re not getting the next Ephedra or Fen-phen? (My mother also warned me to be careful…and she can be surprisingly insightful sometimes. She, for example, knew precisely what was going on when Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade last November…)

But, despite my concerns, I carefully read the press materials from Digestive Care Expert Brenda Watson and tried to keep an open mind…and I’ll regurgitate (no pun intended…[or was it??]) the factoids so you can make an informed decision should *you* be interested in cleansing with any of these products. (That’s one of the things that makes America great, right? Land of Free! Home of the Brave!)

Disclaimer: I have to use this rhyme because she used it so much…:

Here’s the scoop: Brenda Watson likes to say, “Poop.” A lot.

Who is Brenda Watson? She’s a health advocate/colon therapist/poop analyzer who says her passion lies in the digestive tract. She’s the founder of five natural healthcare clinics in Florida and has written six books – including 2002’s Renew Your Life, which is focused on “the body’s natural detoxification processes, as well as improving digestion through healthy nutrition.” (Or so say her press materials…). She also has a live call-in radio show – Brenda’s Poop Scoop — that can be heard Wednesdays from 4:00 to 5:00 EST in Brenda Watson’s Content Library on The VoiceAmerica Health & Wellness channel.

Watson cites a National Institute of Health figure — 100 million Americans — to show just how many people suffer from digestive disorders. She also says her understanding of the digestive system and “how it can be brought back to optimum performance” can help alleviate many of these health issues.

Interested in learning more? She has quite a few gems in the Poop Chronicles on her Web site. I’ll leave you to discover most of them for yourself. Although…if I was a DJ and Brenda’s poopisms were my tracks, I think I’d mash them up a little something like this…:

“Just the gentle ‘oosh’ like a kayak being pushed off the shore of a pristine lake into the water.” / “Once the poop has reached the left side of the colon it should be solid, just like when you bake a cake – mixture goes in runny, comes out soft and solid. If you don’t bake, you’re on your own – just use your imagination! Now your poop is ready to come out of the oven.” / “Fiber is the Jack LaLanne of poop.” / “Fiber is the ThighMaster of the colon.” / “So most of the time my poop complements my hair color. This need to color-coordinate certainly make me strive for healthy poop everyday.”

(Just call me Lace Master Flash? […some old coworkers actually did…]).

So…sorry, Brenda. You have a clever logo (…given what you do…) and you’ve certainly embraced your niche. And I wish you well in the dietary supplement world.

And there’s a good chance it’s purely fond memories of Beverly Hills Chihuahua and/or A Fish Called Wanda, but I think I’m still more likely to try Activia for probiotics and/or maintaining digestive health…(although, then again, I just Googled “Activia” and discovered a link to a class action lawsuit that claimed Dannon’s advertising for Activia and its benefits was not true. Which kind of brings us back to square one as far as I’m concerned…).