It’s a known fact that New Yorkers follow a different set of rules than the rest of the country.
I have lived in New York for almost 8 years, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I never want to become a jaded New Yorker. That being said, I think I may already be one, because I have both subscribed to, and gotten used to New York life. I am actually on my way home to visit family now, and I am preparing myself for how different everything is going to be. I’m going to a place where nobody understands skinny jeans, and the checkout line at Walmart is a place for gossip, where nobody is overly concerned that I am trying to zip in, grab my beef jerky, deodorant, gallon of house paint, and BB gun and get the fuck out of there. New York is a bubble that we all live in, and its only when we leave that we realize how different everything else is. So to honor that, here are a few excuses that only work in New York:
”We should break up. It’s not you, it’s the commute between our apartments.”
“I can’t meet you there. I don’t go within 10 blocks of Rockefeller Center around Christmas.”
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”Have to go, my broker just told me about an apartment with a dishwasher that I have to see before someone else grabs it.”
”I have to cancel our 9pm dinner plans—I’m still stuck at the office.”
”We have to order in—the line at Trader Joe’s was out of control.”
“Sorry for the delay! The A was suddenly rerouted on the F line.”
”Stuck on the West side, there’s a parade.”
”Spent $75 on cocktails last night, so I can’t justify spending money on anything today.”
“Sorry, I can’t stay at your place tonight because the subway isn’t going to your apartment after 11pm.”
”Wasn’t prepared for the rain, so I had to stop and buy emergency rain boots and a $5 umbrella.”
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