Are you tired of sitting at home alone on Saturday nights eating Haagen Dasz and crying over the results of your at-home Pap Smear? Do you ever wish you had someone to sit next to you and criticize all your married friends for throwing brunches involving non-alcoholic lemonade? Buy an inflatable gay best friend doll, and all your glittery bitchy dreams can come true.
Because the only things that come out of Europe are either incredibly chic, or incredibly tacky, the European company Tesco Direct has been selling a gay best friend doll. Their exact marketing statement is as follows:
“If SEX in the City and Will & Grace taught us anything, it’s that g*y best friends are in this season,” notice how they censor the word GAY on their website. They then go on to say:
“Although not much can be said for his own attire, your Inflatable g*y Best Friend is ready to give you fashion advice, tell you if your bum looks big and b**ch about everyone who doesn’t wear Jimmy Choo’s.”
I know you might think I would be offended by this, but I am much more appalled at the gay doll’s outfit. A pink leotard top, baby blue capri pants, and black slip-on pointed espadrilles? That is the kind of outfit you only wear when you first come out of the closet, and want everyone, even blind, deaf, paraplegic mute monks in Afghanistan to know it.
The best part of it all is that the doll is suitable for ages 3-4. Well done, Europe. Well done.
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