You know how some woman go on these little “vacations” and then come back looking 10 years younger, right? It’s not because they meditated or found their inner self. It’s because they went to the best on Park Avenue and had that shit pulled all the way back. I’d like to tell you I’m above all that. I’d like to tell you that no matter how old I get, I’ll be happy in my skin. I can’t tell a lie though. Eventually…this twink body will run out of time.
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I’d also like to tell you that I’ll be able to find a man someday. This is questionable at best. I can’t stand a man for more than a week most of the time. However, for the ladies who have found a man and got a ring put on it — they’re doing something fun! Instead of being happy with their hand, they’re getting little hands lifts. That’s right! For a good hefty chunk of change, you can get those veins on your hands removed and make it look like you were born yesterday!
Why? Because of your engagement ring selfies. You can’t have some dusty cracked hand all up on your Instagram. Oh hell no! You want everyone to know that you’re no longer on the market and that your hand cost more than some of their rents. I’m not above this either.
[h/t BuzzFeed]
