Let’s Talk About the Man-Clings

Written by Karina

How do you handle a man-cling?

The symptoms can show up in anyone: guy, girl, single, attached. The late-night phone calls and incessant texts, for no big reason other than to “say hello” can, at first, seem like a sweet and caring gesture. Well, hello to you too, nice guy who wants to talk to me and isn’t afraid to show it!

But soon some dark-and-stormy shit pops up, and you’re wondering when the night will come that he’s standing outside your window in a Jason mask blasting a boombox playing Peter Frampton. What, you mean I’m the only one who thinks that could happen

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The point is, we’ve all dealt with clingers. To be fair, we’ve probably all exhibited our own share of behaviors that could potentially be classified as “clingy”. But for those of us who’ve spent any part of our lives as single ladies, traversing cities and school and traffic court and whatever else all in the same day, a clingy guy is a turn-off with a capital T. I still sleep with the lights on after watching a scary movie, so if I don’t need to text you my thoughts on the pizza I ate today, then you don’t either.

Of course, there is a difference between a guy who wants to show his affection on the regular, and a guy feeding for your affection on the regular. The first guy won’t typically try to hide the fact that he’s just calling you to call you. Because he’s sane enough and emotionally attuned enough to let you know the real reasons! Most man-clingers I’ve encountered will hide their clingyness under a thousand layers of excuses, texting things like, “Ohh…so did I leave my laundry detergent at your house?”, and, “Just wondering if it’s windy in your neighborhood too”. And then what’s the point of that? If you want to talk to me, let’s talk, but if you actually want to talk about the wind, go chat up the old guy on your stoop.

Maybe I’m being harsh, but I don’t believe that just because you’ve expressed mutual romantic interest in someone, you’re then automatically fair game to be their all day chat/text buddy. I  don’t have that much time to be texting you back, and it’s only making me wonder why you seem to have all that time on your hands. Which then makes it all the more likely that you’ll go out to buy a Jason mask and a boombox and make a tape with the Peter Frampton song on it and be standing outside of my window by 10 pm tonight. Vicious cycles.

So smart people of the Internet, how do you handle the man-cling?

About the author


a coastal-hopping country-come-cosmo girl who can be found getting her feet dirty all around Brooklyn and writing all over the Internet. She is the probably lovechild of Jay-Z and Dolly Parton. Follow her on Twitter @karinabthatsme

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