1. “If anything, I think I’m just too smart and too sensitive and too like, not crazy. So that I’m feeling all these big feelings and containing all this stuff for everybody else.” Lena Dunham.
2. What do you mean you don’t feel like washing up? Get your lazy butt up, wash your face, moisturize, and brush your teeth before you got to bed you gross weird-o. Your body and skin will thank you later.
3. I’m starting to think that any place that is not New York City, Los Angeles, or Paris is Middle America and full of Republican and red necks. I know, this is something I need to work on!
4. Always ask your grandparents if they were friends with celebrities when they were younger. Chances are they were. Especially with Andy Warhol! And it makes you respect them more and think more highly of them.
5. Solange might be better than Beyoncé.
6. Day drinking is acceptable only on Sundays at a very chic brunch restaurant and only after you have worked out.
7. Girls, wait at least an hour before you answer his text. Don’t be so desperate you have your own life and own priorities and goals – don’t forget that.
8. On the first date go in with the thought I’m doing this for the story. That way if it sucks you can write about it and pretend it was an experiment all along.
9. I think that the ultimate joy in life is packing light. People who carry with small bags always have their shit together. Don’t be the person at the airport with a million little bags who is carrying a thousand objects in their hands. It will make you look like a crazy disorganized homeless person. I’m looking at you MUM. I don’t care that one of your bags is Hermes. You still look like a crazy bag lady.
10. When someone ignores you, forget their name.
**Note to self, buy a rolling rack for your apartment to keep high-end dresses.