My first kiss was with a neighborhood girl named Becky. We were playing spin the bottle, and it happened pretty randomly. I then tried to get her to play it every time she came over, and even made up new rules to the game to take things a little further. Needless to say she was not interested. In retrospect, she looked like a lemur after an uncut Colombian 8-ball anyway.
If these make out pillows had existed when I was a kid, I could have saved myself a lot of disappointment.Originally created by an artist who randomly found a bunch of CPR dummies and rubber mouths, the make-out pillows have gone viral on the internet, since they are basically flesh-lights for the mouth. If you follow this link, there are even instructions on how to make your own make-out pillow, in case you are looking for the perfect gift for your preteen nephew.
Just do me one favor and don’t ask any questions after you give the pillow away. Some things are better left un-discussed. I am talking about the fact that your nephew is most likely going to fuck it; #practicemakesperfect.
Don’t worry though, it’s not like its your fucking kid.
