The Downside of Dating in New York

new york dating
Written by Gary

The downside of dating: in New York, like everything else, it isn’t easy.

new york dating

I have lived in New York for 7 years, and been in one serious relationship. That relationship lasted 10 months. I consider myself lucky. I can’t tell you how many people I know here who have never been in a real relationship, or never been in love. It’s fucking ridiculous. I feel so strongly about it that I insist on using the F-bomb when I talk about it. So if you have a problem with the f-word, then honestly you probably don’t live here anyway so this may not apply to you. I could lie and tell you that it is just the gays who have a hard time with dating, but the straights don’t really have it any easier. Here are a few reasons why:

Most people just want to fuck. I know this is probably universally true, but there isn’t really anywhere else in the country where you can LITERALLY fuck a new person every night if you want to, as a way to keep from letting anyone in emotionally.

If you can’t find someone to date in your own borough, you’re fucked. The truth is, people in New York spend hours every day traveling, so traveling for a relationship on top of that just doesn’t always feel worth it. If you can’t find someone who lives in your borough, it probably isn’t going to work out long term because people expect whatever they want, whenever they want it. That includes penis and vagina.

Meeting people is fucking hard. I have never met so many amazing people that I never saw again as I have living in New York. You would think meeting people would be easy since there are so many of them, but its actually the exact opposite, since all those people are too worried about their own shit to say hello to a random stranger.

Fucking dating sites. In New York, everyone uses dating sites, and it isn’t looked down upon. This is both a problem and a solution, since it allows you to date as many people as you can fit into your schedule.

If you find someone to be with, you should fucking move. New York in a relationship can be a great thing, but it isn’t as good as anywhere else in a relationship.  Not only is everyone that lives here under colossal stress that they could potentially take out on you, but there are so many other options that sometimes breaking up is easier than dealing with real problems.

READ MORE: Is LA Stealing New York’s Creatives?

The truth is, we live in a bubble in New York. It is unlike anywhere else in the country, and even though we live here together it is often the thing that keeps us apart. If you are lucky enough to find someone who can fit you into their schedule, is willing to travel to see you, and can manage to relax long enough to actually get to know you, hold onto them tight, and at the first mention of an open relationship, start looking for houses in Connecticut.

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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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