Let me preface this article by saying that I have a very addictive personality. When I like something, I tend to end up liking it to the borderline of obsession. Ironically enough, my two most recent obsessions are Intervention and Hoarders.
Yup, they would be the A&E programs revolving around addicts of all shapes and sizes. Intervention is more like your heroin crazed, alcohol fueled druggies, you know..the aspiring artist turned dope fiend, head cheerleader turned prescription painkiller addict etc, etc. Now Hoarders is a special breed of crazy; people who collect things..the old man that has newspapers from 1957 to present day in his living room, the pack rat shopaholic mother who believes she will one day absolutely need the 400 jars of apple sauce in her basement. My personal favorite was the woman who believed it was absolutely necessary to buy an armadillo shaped purse on her 4th thrift store shopping trip of the week, each trip at $200 a pop. Hey lady, no one needs that..ever. It is ridiculous that it even exists.
Anyway, my love for these programs made me think about obsessive behavior. I know there are lots of people out there that share my addictive personality so I have decided to give you lovely people a little guide as to what is okay, and socially acceptable to love to excess and what is not.
Acceptable:
Beyoncè- She is diva-licious and fabulous and Ashley would never speak to me again if I declared a love of Beyoncè to be unacceptable.
Shoes- This one has several caveats but applies to most fashion items. 1: The shoes must be fashionably acceptable (a full closet of penny loafers, ankle boots and ratty old sneakers will not do. Also see: armadillo purse) 2: You must still be able to pay your rent at the end of the month. No matter how much we channel Carrie Bradshaw it is not okay to buy Jimmy Choos instead of food.
I know not a lot of the things Paula does seem normal, but this shoe closet is a-okay with me!
TV Shows- Maybe this is just me trying to excuse my obsession but I think its pretty harmless to love a show. Everyone has at least one that they need to TiVo..there is no shame in it, as far as I’m concerned.
Unacceptable:
Cats- I know I’ll probably get some heat from the cat lovers out there for this (*ahem Steph and Ash) but at some level everyone has to agree with this. “Cat Lady” is not a term ANYONE wants associated with themselves, no matter how much you like those purring little creatures.
Dolls- This one might sound like its out of the blue. But can you think of anything creepier than walking into a room full of dolls staring at you, with their little beady eyes following you around the room?? Didn’t think so. Do not collect them if you ever want to bring someone of the opposite sex into your apartment.
Babies/Weddings- See: Octomom/Bridezilla. Enough said.
This is by no means a complete list but take it as a small bit of advice. If you fall into any of the “don’t” category, perhaps you should second guess your obsessions. Just sayin.
thanks maura…