Parenting: How to classify your baby’s bodily functions

Written by Gary

Oh good, Gary’s getting gross again.

via Howtobeadad

I had the unpleasant experience of changing my nieces diaper recently. Rather than placate the child by assuming that she didn’t know how to use the bathroom I opted to try to potty train her instead. It went perfectly until I realized I would have to wipe her ass. I haven’t ever wiped anyone’s ass except my own (and even then I close my eyes and hum the lyrics to Hushabye Mountain).

So I can fully sympathize with the trials and tribulations of new parents. So here is a handy guide on what to expect when you aren’t expecting (a divebomber dookie that overpowers your Glade scented plug-in).

About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

Leave a Comment