For People from New York: 10 Things We Never Say

This only applies to people from New York: there are some phrases that you would just never hear a New Yorker say.

Every time I talk to one of my high school friends from Florida, they inevitably ask me if I spend much time in Times Square. Living in New York City, I am aware that I live in a strange bubble that is completely different from the rest of the country, but it is still jarring to me when I cringe about things that everyone else in the US would consider normal conversation.

As much as I never want to become a New Yorker (or lumped into that people from New York category), even I have to admit that I have changed since I moved 7 years ago. If you want an example, I was vehemently against men wearing skinny jeans when I first arrived. Now I have pants so tight I waste an entire bottle of lube just trying to get them off at night. Then I have to have sex using butter. Fair warning: beware of rogue poppy seeds.

Anyway, there exists an unspoken list of phrases that New Yorkers just don’t say. Here are 10 of my favorite highlights.

-1. Cash only? Cool!

2. I grew up here in Williamsburg.

3. I love taking the train, it’s so clean and the people are so friendly.

4. Lena Dunham? No, I don’t really have a strong opinion about her.

5. I just found this great new dermatologist! Maybe you’ve heard of him? Dr. Zizmor?

6. I need some excitement. I think I’ll go to a Mets game.

7. Sure, I’ll run into Whole Foods and get that for you—meet you back here in five minutes!

8. But how can I cross the street? The walk sign isn’t on!

9. I’m hungry, let’s head to Times Square for dinner.

10. I got this mattress off the street!

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