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Rant of the Week: Partying Rules and Regulations

Written by Gary

Rules were meant to be broken. So if you put up a specific set of rules at a party, chances are half the people (and all the Aries’) are going to take it as a challenge and not only break every rule you post, but also do unscrupulous things that you probably didn’t even think of.

I have never really understood party rules, even though the ones in this photo are pretty awesome. I was once told not to pee in a potted plant at a party. Can you guess what I did?

  1. Rules were meant to be broken. So if you put up a specific set of rules at a party, chances are half the people (and all the Aries’) are going to take it as a challenge and not only break every rule you post, but also do unscrupulous things that you probably didn’t even think of.
  2. Parties pretty much always get out of hand. Any time you agree to host one you should expect that someone will go through your underwear drawer, something will get broken, and you will find a used condom in a very non-traditional place. My favorite was when I found said condom on my roof.
  3. Parties by virtue of their nature are supposed to get out of hand. I have never heard anyone reminisce about a quiet night at their place where they played gin rummy, ate finger foods, and braided each other’s vaginas.

Know what you are getting yourself into. If you have a party you should hide everything of value, scotch-guard the towels in your bathroom, and burn down your neighbors homes so they can’t complain about noise. Then just sit back and let the mayhem unfold.

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About the author

Gary

Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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