The reasons you are single in New York City: someone needed to tell you.
Back when I lived in Florida, my dating life was never really an issue. Yes, I went through dry spells like everyone else, but I was attractive and driven, so I dated a lot, and every once in a while someone remarkable came along and drew me into a long term relationship. I liked my life like that, and it lead me to believe that things would always continue on that path.
After living in New York for 7 years, I have come to find out that things don’t work the same way. Inherently, I think the problem is that New York is a city of people who want to make the most out of their lives. You don’t move here unless you aspire to make something great of yourself. You don’t stay here unless you discover you actually have the balls to make it happen. When you put so many driven people in one place and offer them access to anything they want, at any hour of the day, it can obviously end up creating some problems, specifically with relationships. Here are three of those problems. I would be willing to bet at least one of these has to do with why you are still single, and probably why you drink so much, too.
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The Hookup Culture– Nowadays, our smartphones are glued to our assholes, so all around the world people are using the Internet to meet people. This has lead to a total breakdown in the system of quality versus quantity, and frankly, created a bunch of whores. This is a problem because people are forgetting what it takes to create a real, solid relationship where you fall in love, and truly get to know each other without all the distractions that the internet creates.
Miscommunications– When it comes to relationships, texting and social media should be against the rules. Texting not only creates the problem of reading things out of context, but also creates its own stupid rules of “waiting to text back” and having too much time to craft your text response perfectly. It hampers the ability to create a real connection, and takes away the mystique behind a person.
Dating Unavailable People– This is probably my number one dating problem, and I never really experienced it until I moved to New York. Everyone that lives here has their own agenda, and many times dating you just won’t fit into that equation. Sometimes a guy has a plan for his own life, and dating you just doesn’t mesh with his plan for his future. Sometimes a guy has dated so much in New York he is too jaded to really put himself out there. Sometimes a guy just devotes his entire life to his career, and has no room for anything else.
Regardless of the reason, there are a lot of unavailable people in New York, and chances are that you have dated at least a few of them. The only thing you need to remember is that if you are important to a person, they will make time for you, even if you don’t fit into their grand plan for their life.
If you aren’t, you need to move on, work on yourself, and focus on being ready to actually fall in love instead of just hook up, and talk to a person instead of trying to decipher their cryptic texts like the fucking Davinci Code. At the end of the day, we may live in a city full of people desperately trying to feel important, but the easiest way to feel important is to become important to someone else.
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