It is widely accepted that in relationships, trust is the most important element of success. It is said that without trust, you have nothing, and that once trust is broken it is impossible to get back. I met the British guy I am dating for lunch today and we got to talking about it. He thinks that trust needs to be earned, and I think trust is a decision.
When you meet someone you really like, you have to make assumptions about them based on your perception of their character. You may meet someone totally amazing who you think is completely faithful, and that person may be banging Columbian hookers in the bathroom of a jet, stuffing baggies of cocaine up their butts and smuggling them over the border. You may meet someone who has a reputation for being a ladies man, and you constantly treat them as such, but that guy may be so taken by you that he never even thinks of cheating. When we first meet someone, we have no real way to gauge whether we can trust them or not because we don’t really know them. If you are like me, you have probably dated a string of assholes that makes you rethink whether or not you are a good judge of character.
So here is how it works: If you meet someone you really click with, regardless of your own insecurities, their reputation, or your fears you have to make the decision to trust them wholeheartedly. If you really want a working relationship, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, and trust them with your heart. If they break it, then shame on them. If they never get the chance because you are too scared, shame on you.
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