I wish we were asked to choose a hilarious bible verse while I was in CCD (religious education for you non-Catholics). Instead, our Tuesday nights from 6-9:30 consisted of passing notes and contemplating jumping out the window. To help people like me understand the bible (and make it all funny and stuff), the makers of ICanHazCheeseburger have embarked on a total overhaul of the Bible in total LOLspeak.
If you are unfamiliar with LOLspeak, there is a LOLspeak translator! For example: “I really wish I had a cupcake right now” translates to “i can haz a cupcaek rite nao.” Amazing/annoying.
Dis heer bibl iz teh lolz. This is an example of one of the funnier bible versus. It’s basically about skanks, sluts, and whoring it up. Biblical style. Directly out of the Bible reads: “1 The word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, there were two women, daughters of the same mother. 3 They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. 4 The older was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. They were mine and gave birth to sons and daughters. Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.”
Read it in LOLspeak below. Relijun iz teh nom nomz. The funniest is Eziekiel 23:20. It reads: “She liekd teh guys with teh big dixxxes… teh RLY big uns, like donkeys LOL… and massiv cumbuckits like horse!” Ahhh, sluts.
