Last night, I was lucky enough to see Catching Fire. Sure, while Jennifer Lawrence is beautiful, I couldn’t keep my eyes off the real highlight — Sam Claflin’s jaw. Sam hails from the United Kingdom, and I’ve always had a soft spot for Europeans with a strong jaw line.
Dear Sam Claflin’s Jaw,
I’d first like to start by volunteering my lips as tribute to your beautiful, beautiful face. While your whole face is perfect, I’d really like to focus on your jaw. It’s strong. It’s defined. It’s everything I’ve always wished for.
Last night, while watching you play Finnick, I couldn’t help but fall deeper and deeper in love with your chiseled features. You are crafted from the gods. There is no one like you. There is no one with a jaw quite like yours. Sure, I’ve had other crushes. And sure, I may have slept around a bit but now that I’ve discovered the sorcery that you call a face, I’m going celebate. I know this will be hard. I do have confidence that you will find me.
I believe, whole heartedly, that you and I are destined to be together. With my beautiful blue eyes and your strong jaw, we could take over the world. If you don’t play for my team, that’s okay, I really don’t mind being your hype gay.
It is with this letter that I openly declare my love to you to and my devotion to our future together.
All my love (for your jaw),
Corey
P.S. In the words of Selena Gomez, when you’re ready…come and get it!
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