This is not a drill: a butter shortage is coming. Get your underground bunker ready.
If you’ve always loved butter to a Paula Deen-like level, cool, we’re on board with you. Same here. We love butter in and on just about everything, because butter is better, but there’s a cream and butter shortage looming on the horizon, and we’re just about this < > close to building an underground bunker to ride it out. These are obviously desperate times.
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Apparently milk production slowed in 2016, leaving the end of year butter prospects for late 2017 looking somewhat dim. The chief executive of Arla, a giant dairy company based in the UK, told the BBC that dairy farmers had to “put the brakes on” dairy production at some point last year to help stabilize dairy industry pricing, and possibly overcompensated — because now there may not be enough to meet demand. The potential butter shortage isn’t due to environmental concerns, but lazy human computing.
Ugh, not cool, humans. We assume this will kill your pasta with cream sauce vibes when you’re living in a castle in Italy for free (um, yes, that’s possible). It’ll definitely make your already-inflamed latte budget run screaming for the hills, or make the switch to vegan milk options not seem that much more expensive.
Expect a major rise in cream and butter prices across Europe and North America by the end of 2017 — meaning your lattes, cakes, cookies, croissants, and ice cream sundaes will probably go up in price. That means it may actually be worth it to eat salads and drink green juices and fertility smoothies, so, maybe this is a miserable, positive thing? Who knows, but good luck out there.
We pray for your survival. Stay strong.
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