I have had just enough sex in my time to know that penises come in all shapes and sizes. My personal favorite is a perfectly average dick, because it looks nice, fits everywhere, and wont cause me any embarrassment (either from having to borrow a wheelchair from the cripple down the hall after random Saturday nights, or painful conversations with my friends about how penis size doesn’t matter when you have a great personality). The truth is, that penis size does matter. If its too big, you can’t safely do anything with it. If its too small, you don’t want to do anything with it. The problem is that sometimes (thought God only knows why) we decide to wait before unwrapping our favorite package. We meet a guy, we get to like him, and then we realize that he is rocking a micro-dick. So what do we do? Here are some ways to work around it if your man happens to be un-endowed.
1. Don’t lie to him during sex and tell him it’s big. Even straight guys have seen enough dicks to know what they are working with. Instead, focus on telling him now good it feels. If you can’t feel it at all, tell him how good it feels, but leave out the fact that you are talking about your bare ass on the silk sheets, or the 6 shots of rum you had earlier.
2. Blow him constantly. It doesn’t take much time out of your day to give a blowjob, and if its small it’s not like you have to worry about your gag reflex. Giving him constant blowies means that you can spank your own kittie at the same time, and show that you appreciate his little guy. You both get off, and you don’t have to fake an orgasm. Win-win.
3. Try anal. Trust me when I say that no matter how small his penis is, he will still enjoy anal. You might even enjoy it too. You might actually prefer it. I have read a study that says it’s easier for women to climax when being anally penetrated. I don’t know if this is because its easier to masturbate when you have a few extra inches of space, but its worth a try.
4. Get some toys involved. Lesbians have such healthy relationships because they constantly ram each other with hard objects. Your guy will probably love playing with sex toys as much as you do (and its a lot easier than being crammed in an airplane bathroom trying to get 30 seconds of peace with your vibrator). At the end of the day, a guy with a tiny dick just wants to bring you pleasure. He won’t care if its coming from the business end of a 9 inch black dildo named Max.
If you really like someone, a small penis isn’t the end of the world. It is, in fact, the beginning of a whole new world- one where assholes never bleed and condoms slip off easily, which is perfect if you want to trap him into marriage.
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