Sex Spotting: Oral Sex Versus Oral Hygiene

We all know that too much teeth can ruin a blowjob, but can too many blowjobs ruin your teeth? I asked several dentists this question, and received nothing but confused smiles and STOP ALL emails in return. One dentist and friend named Mike mentioned that he always tells children to wait an hour before brushing after ingesting anything acidic, such as orange juice. The problem with that advice is that if you are a child giving blowjobs, I think you have bigger issues that tooth decay.

There are minerals in semen such as zinc and calcium that are proven to slow tooth decay, but do they occur in a large enough amount to make a difference? I don’t know. Scientifically speaking, that would also depend on the size of your guy’s load. Speaking as a guy, sometimes when I am hung over and dehydrated my load trickles like a faucet. If I am excited and nourished it shoots like a geyser. There are too many factors at play here. Where is Bill Nye when you need him?

The only piece of evidence I can offer is a social experiment between myself, and the Editor in Chief, Bryce Gruber. I am a gay guy who takes good care of his teeth, but gives blowjobs out like dollar bills  to homeless blind orphan aids babies in the subway. Bryce is a straight women who takes good care of her teeth, and only gives blowjobs if her husband does something extraordinary like curing cancer, or finally learning to speak English. I have several new cavities every time I visit the dentist, and she has never had one.

Much like unicorns, leprechauns, and Taylor Swift it all comes down to your own opinion, until Science takes its head out of its own ass and finally starts publishing journals on something we actually care about, like oral sex. Until then, do whatever the Hell you want in moderation. Just remember to brush your teeth after oral sex. You can hide bad teeth by adjusting your smile, but dick breath is a different story entirely.

(Coming soon: Dick breath and dental care).