ENTERTAINMENT

Small Cocks are Evil: Proof

Written by Bryce

Bernie Madoff is a thieving bastard, and millions of angry investors and their sub-economies want to know what the hell would drive a man to be so effing evil.  He stole from charities, friends, and made the American financial system tremble.

His tiny dick is to blame, apparently.

weinstein

Bernie’s hussie on the side, Sheryl Weinstein, wrote the book Madoff’s Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie and Me, and points the finger at Bernies less-than-thrilling cock as the sole source of American poverty and heartache.  This concerns me because I have a lot of slutty friends that come in contact with small penises on an all-too-regular basis… are these the guys that are tinkering with fertilizer bombs?  Is that guy I ran away from in college going to rob a bank?

And I can’t help but wonder if this theory implies that well-hung men are more likely to be upstanding citizens?  I know it’s wrong to generalize, but based on the one big schlong I’ve come into contact with I can’t help but think that goodness and dick size don’t necessarily go hand in hand.

angelman

So I ask you… have you slept with a tiny-dicked dude?  Did he seem evil?

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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