“Stand Up Straight & Rock That Hourglass, Honey”
-The sound & completely relevant advice given to us big-breasted-bizzles by Jenette Goldstein.
But how can we do that without some serious support, know-how, and a little bit-o-sex?
We’re here to help, ladies with ladies:
How to get the support WITH the sex Jenette Bras:
Sasha $75.00 at JenetteBras.com
Boob’d ladies everywhere can attest to the sheer lack of sex-a-licious undergarments out there for us. Bra shopping becomes a stupid chore that leads you to the yellow pages, finding information for breast-reducing plastic surgeons. And rightfully so! Bras are either cute & skanky, but create the dreaded quad-boob ( when your bra cuts into your lady lump, making you look as thought God has granted you with 4 boobs, total.) OR, bras fit just right, but make boys ( or girls) want to run in horror, questioning your motives as an over the hill granny bra wearing freak.
Lucky for us, Jenette Bras have kept us in mind, and decided that the alphabet ‘begins at D’ – specializing in bras sized from their version of A( really D) all the way up to K cup. With a twist! No ‘wide load’ straps. No Madonna-esque conehead nipples, and no saggy tots! These bras are made from quality materials, and are built to last. Why not splurge on a piece of mammory machinery that will actually keep you supported? And these designs are classic & comfortable– and that never goes out of style.
How to dress Rebecca & Drew:- specializes in keeping ladies dressed in high-quality garments without bearing assets, or popping buttons. Their tailor made shirts ( I’m obsessed with my black button up– never fails!) are sized by specified measurements ( read more about them here ) in order to keep you comfortable without making you look like a camping tent. And once I was measured by the experts at their trendy West Village location, you can shop away in-store or on line- and rest assured that your choices in their ready-to-wear will fit you every time!
The vast selection of ready-to-wear in Rebecca & Drew's NYC Store (left) & their signature Slim Fit Button Up ( right -price upon request)
Finally, make sure to know how to deal with it all: bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls
bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls , is a humorous and informative owner’s manual. Filled with personal, true stories (“mammoirsâ„¢â€), it’s also a style guide for breasts. Readers are given practical and useful advice from breast experts – lingerie fitters, doctors, personal trainers, and others – on what to expect from their breasts and how to put their best breast forward at each stage of their lives. bOObs celebrates the unique qualities of all women.
Chapters range from “Sprouting†to “Saggy but Sexy and Sassy,†and everything in-between. Readers learn the state of breasts today (how E is the new
C); how to find and get the right fit from a bra, including nursing, pregnancy, and beyond; how to keep “the girls†healthy, and what to do if they’re not. Each chapter contains web and written resources, plus illustrations and sidebars with little known facts, trivia, and the best breast trends.
I’m ready to read this fine piece of literature, in order to school myself in the ways of breasticles, and 10 lucky ladies out there will have a chance to do the same!
...it's great reading for the whole family.
Just enter your email & comment below on why YOU are worthy of getting your own copy of bOObs, signed by author Elisabeth Dale(Squires). May the best ladies win!
Love it. Will have to check out jenettebras and that book. They say in France the ideal breast can fit into a champaign glass(as was fashioned after Marie Antionette’s bosom) and in Brooklyn it’s a toilet. YAY for busty gals!
Erin, I’m so disturbed. I think I need an in-between size?
fish bowl?
I never quite got the champagne glass ideal-either long and skinny por perfectly round.
UGH. if E is the new C then i truly have lost all hope of being “average”. boooo
Neat book.
“But how can we do that without some serious support, know-how, and a little bit-o-sex?”
Love it!!!
I love that E is the new C. Can size 16 be the new size 12?
What a cute book… and so real
Hilarious
ohhh boobie trivia?! i’ve gotsta have those questions in my back pocket for some awkward conversation starters!
Whoa!
hahah I’m so not avg anymore than if that’s the case!! Boobie trivia sounds fun! haha
seriously. my c/d status makes me feel like a total wimp. and i waited 24 years to get my boobs… im gonna have to have another baby just to pump up my bra size.
If E is the new C, then what would an H be? I still feel like I have bigger boobs then everyone I meet!
helen… you have “h” boobs?
you’re my idol.
Can we just clarify that the champagne-glass ideal is in reference to a champagne coupe; not a champagne flute
There is only one problem – no 32 size band. When is someone gonna make a bra for me???
II read bOObs. It really has some good stuff I must say. I wish there was an updated edition.
But the Jenette Bras? They do look all pretty but that’s 5 minute-wear. As in, wear it for 5 minutes and where’d it go? Oh on the floor b/c it’s hooking up time (no pun intended). Those thinner straps look like they’ll really dig in and leave marks 🙁 Maybe stick to Panache & Chantelle?
No 32 band? Downer. Thanks Anna.
I would guess Jenette has 32 in store, even Nordstrom carries 32 bands, up to a G.
For the busty girls needing button-ups check out http://www.bratiquehelene.com, no gaping, but a nice cinched in waist.
I’m a 36H-I, need I say more?? ( and will they stop making man hole cover sized cups! …someone please make a small size underwire circumference with just a really deep cup)
I just got my boobs book in the mail and I am so excited to read it! And I thought I was the only one who didn’t know how to wrangle her huge boobs… love it!