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The Vegan Stripper Movement Gains Momentum in Portland

vegan strip club in portland
Written by Gary

I bet you didn’t even know there was a vegan stripper movement, did you? Casa Diablo, a strip club in Portland, Oregon prides itself on serving only vegan food and employing only vegan strippers. Is your mind as blown as mine is?

vegan strip club in portland

First off, strip clubs are supposed to be sleazy, as a rule. You can aggrandize it all you want and say that stripping is empowering to women, and an art form. At the end of the day though, the service you are in provides men with raging boners and fodder for masturbation. Stripping is all about the fantasy aspect of sex, but who in their right mind would ever fantasize about a tofu burger? When you think about your last meal, you never say: “I would sink my teeth into a big, juicy, mouth watering, bean sprout.”

Strip clubs are about excess. You are supposed to drink too much, smoke too much, and make it rain hundies on the honeys. Veganism, while honorable and respectable, is a lifestyle about restraint. If you don’t believe me, then tell me why we have both canine and molar teeth in our mouths. So while I applaud the whole concept of eating healthy while you drink and oogle women’s lady bits, I don’t really understand the point. I have only been to female strip clubs a handful of times, and every time I was thrown out for stepping over boundaries, but in my mind, the point of those places is to tantalize your senses and appreciate excess. This idea seems to be at odds with veganism as a whole.

Ill take my strippers like I take my steak; aged, meaty, and slathered in A-1 sauce.

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About the author

Gary

Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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