Cro-shame= crochet + shame. See what I did there?
I’m pretty sure the reason God made me gay is so I could never have a baby, since the closest thing I have ever had to a child was a dog, and I sold her for $500 so I could go on a vacation.
Nothing is more comforting than a man-eating sea monster with two rows of teeth eating your tootsies.
Still, if I ever did have one it would be the most inappropriate baby known to mankind. I would use it as a tool to make people laugh, especially when they didn’t want to laugh. I would dress it in the most ridiculous outfits I could find, and yes, I would cro-shame it. Thanks to Etsy, I would have no problem finding ridiculous crochet apparel for my baby, so while I may not have a pair of tits, I can still make sure my child’s head looks like one.
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