Use Remington’s Body Trimmer on your Burt Reynolds Chest Mane

Dude. It’s time to curb your wildly inappropriate chest hair. Your winter Robin Williams look is not going to cut it in the summer of 2009.

Today’s man watches pornography and expects women to live up to the adult industry’s grooming standard. Today’s women watch Matthew McConaughey romantic comedies and read Cosmopolitan, and expect the same from us.

I tested out the Remington Body and Back Hair Trimmer to work over my problem areas. Mercifully I have not yet developed any back hair, but chest, stomach, arms, groin are all fair game. The BHT-600 is a compact and complete unit with numerous attachments, an extendable handle for harder to reach places, precision trimmer, etc.

Trying to make use of all the attachments is cumbersome and unnecessary, as the main trimmer is suitable for everything. The BHT-600 is shower-proof, which is the easiest place to shave down without getting trimmings everywhere. The unit feels kind of flimsy but works well. I spent a little time playing with lengths and fades before just setting it on scorched earth. I was overzealous.

Though the BHT-600 provides good control, its not necessarily better suited than an all-purpose trimmer. DO NOT use it on the shortest setting on your groin area, because this thing can pinch and that shit is terrifying. My god.

My recommended looks for Summer 2009:

The JFK Jr. (RIP)

Sparse everywhere else, with healthy but not daunting amounts on the chest, stomach, and arms. Helps to be jacked. And rich. And a Kennedy.

The Leonidas

Get a tan. Get a gym membership. Shave everything off. Slaughter the Persian army. Smear blood everywhere.

The Burt Reynolds

Let it go. Slaughter bear. Lie on it. Vintage as shit.

Buy the BHT-600 here.