You are about to see a video that claims to be a parody of Beyonce’s song “Pretty Hurts.” The only things that are likely to hurt though, are your eyes and your vagina. Your eyes will be in pain because even though this video claims to be a parody, there is nothing really funny about it, and it doesn’t relate at all to Beyonce’s actual video where she portrays a pretty beauty queen that likes to smash things because she is hungry. This is pretty embarrassing all around given the fact that we have access to an entire universe of knowledge via our smartphones, which includes plenty of online dictionaries that include the word parody.
Your vagina will probably hurt because the guy in the video (Bryan Hawn) is both very hot, and very obviously gay. I don’t like to make assumptions, but the way he trails a wrench down his chest like he is leading a horse to a hole (get it?) , and the fact that those Diesel manties are shoved so far up his crack that his breath smells like Fruit of the Loom gives me pause.
Needless to say you will probably never have babies with him, but on the bright side those babies might have come out drunk, dancing to house music, trying to figure out why they just popped out of a vagina, and where the after-hours party is. You dodged a bullet. Enjoy the video.
