20 WTFish Thoughts About True Blood

Written by Herbert

20 things that plague viewers of True Blood

When a show has a fan following, said fans tend to see it through to the end, despite detours from what they may have been expecting. Here are a few things that have come up over the past 6 years of the show’s run since Season 2 (Season 1 being the primary responsibility for said following):

1. FAIRIES? In Season 3 we get the whole introduction of “The Fae” and their history with Vampires. Sookie is later placed in a fairy dimension that conveniently rockets the series forward a few years when she comes back to planet Earth.

READ MORE: 14 Reasons to Get Excited for Fall

2. Making up mythology as we go along? So the Mainads eat hearts and Queen Sophie-Ann knows how to defeat them. Yeah that’s a thing…

3. Bill releases Jessica twice?

“As your maker, I release you”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to recall Bill releasing Jessica for the sake of her protection in Season 3.

4. The drama of releasing your progeny? As I said, we see Bill release Jessica once, as well as a flashback to when Bill was released by Lorena. Suddenly in Season 6, releasing your progeny became an excuse for an elongated emotional scene, with an accompanying monologue for the maker. And was it just me, or did Willa just disappear from the series once she was released?

5. Russell’s power. How is it that Russell Edgington was able to do pretty much anything he wanted? At least there are makings for those “Best TV Villains” lists.

6. Age decrees power?

“Are you serious?”

Every time there was a power struggle, one would reference their age. “I’m twice your age” “I’m 1000 years old” “I am 3000 years old”

7. Out of nowhere everyone gets killed HOW MANY TIMES? How familiar is this, a bunch of people with guns suddenly lose their heads?

8. Progression from “Whodunit” miniseries into “Vampires have feelings, too.” The first season was a series of people dying. The rest was about vampires finding love, or something like that.

9. The Fairy Ball: WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED? Sookie decides not to use the Fairy Ball (a one time use that would take away her Fae powers) to kill Bill. But what would happen when she does use it? Someday some spin-off will answer the question…

10. Tara’s message from beyond the grave: SO? Aw, she lived in a household where her mom was abused and she hid the gun.

11. Jason and Tara never hook up. It always seemed that they were building up to Tara ending up with Jason, or at least the two getting together once. In the early seasons, the script couldn’t stop talking about how they liked each other. Plus Jason pretty much was the Don Juan of this show, could she have made him an honest man?

12. Jessica is trapped as a virgin. Jessica was turned vampire before her first time. Because vampires heal instantaneously, her hymen regrows each time she experiences vaginal penetration. That’s just cruel.

13. Ever want to explore the science of Vampire Blood and synthetic TruBlood? Exactly what is synthetic “Tru” blood and how are they maintaining it?

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14. Chain of Command? Sheriff->Queen/King->Magister->Nan->Authority->Lilith-HUH?? So the Magister gives orders to Nan who relays them to the Sheriff…no wait, the Authority orders Nan and then Nan runs the order by the Magister…hold on, no… The Magister gets orders from the authority to give to Nan to run by the Magister…I GIVE UP

15. Hepatitis D? Hepatitis V? In Season 1 a human talks about having Hepatitis D. We never see what it does, but apparently it’s NOTHING compared to this Hep V that needed to be manufactured when there was already an STD going around?? Makes you wonder if the writers ever knew what hepatitis is.

16. Werewolf pack – WHAT? Somehow we got treated to seeing a self-proclaimed inbreeding werewolf pack that behaved like the wild animals they are. Women proud to call themselves “bitches” in the literal sense. So it would seem Weres are unable to become civilized like the vamps, and Alcide was the exception?

17. Werepanthers. Just….no

18. Mainads and Witches and Shifters – OH MY! Exactly how many mythological lores were we planning to mix in here?  But it was kind of fun to see Harry Potter’s Aunt Petunia as a witch.

Don’t get me started on the Ifrit.

19. Shapeshifter community? Finally Sam gets a group like him, and of course they are summarily disposed of within a couple of episodes.

20. You sure this was based on the books? Let’s be honest, even Alan Ball states in commentary on DVDs that the series does not follow the books very closely. They are told in narration by Sookie. Tara has a much less significant role, and Lafayette dies in the course of book 1.

Which leads me to my next article: How to interpret “based on” other media.

About the author


Currently works as a paralegal, but spent his early years catering to 5th Ave. clientele at F.A.O. Schwarz as a Toy Soldier and product demonstrator. When at home, he enjoys cooking "surprise" dishes, like bacon surprise! For fitness, he participates in obstacle course races, practices yoga, and enjoys rock climbing, weight lifting, and swimming. Herbert is such a nerd he once debated at Comic Con why the Silver Surfer's surfboard is better than Thor's Hammer.

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