The Many Faces of Facebook

Beyond the seemingly endless technical issues that Facebook tends to give us on a daily basis, we have to deal with the daily burdens of everyone else. Of course, Facebook has it’s pros like keeping in touch with family, finding long lost friends, and being able to snoop through pictures. However, in most cases, you sign in ready to hear some happy news from a pal or to see some new pictures of family, maybe even expecting to receive an email from some gorgeous guy you met the other day, but instead you see a wall full of everyone’s overly exaggerated absurdities. (via)

The Public Love Birds

The best are the couples that have to show their undeniable love through each other through Facebook. For goodness sake, you live together. Keep the “Last night was just so amazing. We should have a repeat tonight.” to yourselves please. I don’t think the world wants any mental images of your night together. At least I don’t.

The “I Knew Someone Who Knew Someone” People

Sometimes, you get those people that knew someone’s sister’s friend who had a daughter that was in a horrible car accident and they feel the need to let the world know about it. I mean really. The situation is sad but you hardly even know who they are, so why make everyone else feel bad about it?

I Am So Perfect: On My Facebook

Even more obnoxious than those listed above are the people who were never very nice or even successfully inclined in high school. Who now through the power of social media, have the ability to pretend they’re perfect. They make it a point to quote philosophers, give their two-sense whenever they can, and to see to it that they make you look like you’re wrong even when you know that’s not the case. Anyone can form a biased opinion out of spite and anyone can copy and paste a quote of the internet. You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.

Stalkers

One of the biggest absurdities on Facebook comes from the people who will not give up on friend requesting you. You’ve declined their request several times yet they don’t get the clue. There are also those friends you had from high school who are constantly trying to get you to hang out. You’ve tried your best at putting them down politely but they still keep persisting.

Keep Your Clothes On

I understand if you had a fabulous vacation in Hawaii or a day at the beach with your family and you post pictures of you in your bikini. That’s fine. It’s those pictures of you in the bathroom in front of your mirror with a towel wrapped around you, being just a bit too suggestive, that are not called for. If you’re not a professional (emphasis on professional) model or a porn star, keep yourself covered. Thank you.

Fighting On Facebook

Seriously, is it really called for? Do you have to call me a bitch because I said “The Lion King” was sad? Do I even know you for that matter? Believe it or not, this stuff happens. Some people in the world are just that miserable that they will pick a fight with anyone they deem worthy of fighting with. These people are in serious need of anger management.

Woe Is Me

More common than any of the other type of Facebook addict are the people who never have anything positive to say. Everything they post is negative, dramatic, or crying for attention. If your life is that bad, do something about it. Quit with the water works. Take your dramatics to the theater.

The Foodies

If once in a while you made or had a fabulous meal and would like to brag about it, than great by all means share it. It’s those people who write posts about every single thing they ate that day who irk me. So you had a burrito, taco, and a soda. Ummm, gross. Even worse is when they post pictures of it. Way to make me lose my appetite.

Leave My Boyfriend/Girlfriend Alone

Since when did having a boyfriend or girlfriend mean you had to relinquish all rights to having friends of the opposite sex? I mean I’m sorry I wrote on his wall and said “Hi.” Does that give you a right to send a message to my inbox telling me to “Leave him alone”? Can we say insecure?

Well, there you have it, “The Many Faces of Facebook.” I’m sure there are plenty of stereotypes I haven’t covered. These are just some that I’ve noticed via personal experience (if you haven’t already assumed that).