Here’s how to tell that something’s not quite right…
Relationships can be pretty delicate! You have to strike the right balance between getting what you want and being willing to make compromises for the other person. If you can find that balance, your relationship can be a beautiful thing.
But how can you tell if a relationship isn’t right? Here are some signs of an unhealthy relationship you need to recognize:
- It’s you versus them — When it comes to making decisions, is it “your choice or theirs”? You have a hard time finding a compromise, but one person is always letting the other person have their way. A good relationship is built on reaching an agreement, not one person walking all over the other.
- It’s loud/violent –– If your partner is prone to outbursts of anger, shouting, calling you or others insulting names, or even violent actions, it’s a sign you should break it off. Even if things aren’t bad now, they could get real bad later on down the line.
- It’s emotionally/psychologically abusive — Physical abuse isn’t the worst kind! If your partner is always manipulating you, telling you you’re no good, or browbeating you verbally, that’s an abusive person and one you need to get away from.
- It’s sexist –– If your partner has very definite ideas of what roles each of you should play (determined by gender), it’s a bad sign. They may think that men and women “should” do certain things or act a certain way. Women can be just as sexist as men!
- It’s your fault –– Does he or she blame you for everything that goes wrong in your life/relationship? It’s not possible that everything is your fault, and all they’re doing is adding a burden of guilt onto your shoulders.
READ MORE: The Pros and Cons of Long Distance Relationships
- It’s centered around substances –– Does your relationship only thrive when you are drinking, smoking, or doing drugs together? A relationship centered around these substances is not a real relationship, and certainly not a healthy environment!
- It’s critical –– Does your partner criticize you, your family, your friends, and your choices? Criticism is tolerable in small doses, but it can sometimes get to be too much. That’s when you know things are bad!
- It’s possessive/controlling –– A bit of jealousy isn’t always a bad thing, as it shows your partner cares about you. But if they see you as “theirs”, that has passed into the realm of possessiveness. You are not a “thing” that they can own, and they don’t have control over you. A controlling or possessive relationship can be very toxic!
- It’s violent –– Has your partner ever struck you or coerced you physically into doing something sexual that you didn’t want to do? If so, that is abuse and possibly rape! A good relationship involves neither violence or coercion. It doesn’t matter how many times he or she apologized for it–it’s still 100% wrong!
- It’s unhealthy –– If one or both of you have unhealthy habits, it’s likely that they will be passed on to the other person, leading them down that same unhealthy road. For example, if one of you has a problem with overeating and is NOT seeking counseling or help with the problem, that can be passed on to the other person. The same goes for substance abuse, alcoholism, and other health problems.
If you notice ANY of these signs in your relationship, it’s time to seriously consider getting out! Why would you want a toxic, unhappy relationship in the first place?
http://www.scu.edu/wellness/topics/relationships/warningsigns.cfm
