These 12 eyebrow shapes are enough to scare drag queens straight.
The queen of the damned.
As someone who has definitely over-plucked in my Florida twink past, I know a thing or two about bad eyebrows. I am also from Panama City, so I am well versed in all the strange, incredible, and downright mood-killing things people do to their brows. Thus, I am uniquely qualified to comment on all sorts of eyebrow shapes and grooming catastrophes, so I have brought 12 to you, for deep and meaningful discussion.
These shapes may not be recognized by modern geometry, but they are easily recognizable as totally hideous, unnecessary, criminal abuse of a Sharpie marker.
Before we begin, I should remind you that society, right now at least, is on a sort of ‘eyebrow high’ and women everywhere are trying to cash in on the craze. We blame you, Kardashian sisters, for ruining plenty of good women. Now, let’s carry on, shall we?
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The chalk eraser prison tattoo.
The mildly uninterested underscore.
The broke down Batman.
The Groucho muthafuckin Marx.
The overzealous spermatozoa.
The poisoned ivy.
The Donald Trump eyebrow blowout.
The you can fuck Gary Randall.
The don’t do it.
The closing elevator doorbrow.
The to never be continued.
