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15 Reasons You Need A Unicorn On Your Back

Written by Elizabeth Mitchell

True Life: I Used to be a Unicorn

They’re cute, they’re cuddly and only a virgin can tame ‘em. Here are 15 real reasons you need a unicorn on your back.

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1. Unicorns are chic.

2. Have you ever seen a unicorn in US Weekly’s Fashion Police?

3. The unicorn is a legendary animal from European folklore that sometimes has a goat’s beard.

4. People might think you’re a virgin if you’re wearing a unicorn.

5. Unicorns symbolize purity and grace.

6. Lady Gaga likes unicorns.

7. Lady Gaga is a unicorn.

8. Unicorns make great pets.

9. Every guy wants to bone a girl who owns a unicorn.

10. Unicorns can’t get knocked up.

11. They can heal syphillis.

12. Possessing even a fragment of a unicorn’s horn could prolong your life.

13. All unicorns hail from India.

14. But they look like white people

15. A true unicorn will always have your back, no matter what.

About the author

Elizabeth Mitchell

Born and raised in NC, Liz attended college at NYU before making the move to the City of Angels where she currently resides. She has an uncanny love for all things neon, prefers regular to diet and secretly wishes she were a hipster because it’d be ironic. Follow her on twitter at your own risk: @emitchell456

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