18 Cheese Inspired Baby Names for Dairy Loving Parents

Written by Bryce

Congratulations, you’re going to be a parent (possibly again!) and you find yourself drawn to everything with cheese. All the things– nachos, pizza, tacos, grilled cheese straight up, and obviously all the variations of macaroni. I salute this, and I’m with you, so I’ve come up with a list of the top cheese inspired baby names for you to consider for your darling fetus.

cheese plate

  1. Fontina. She’s sassy, creamy, pairs well with a variety of life situations and is generally well-regarded. She’s got that Euro flair that’s so timeless and only slightly smelly.
  2. Brie. Is she a little basic and expected? Sure. But she’s delightful with any other child you might’ve named for a fruit, and her buttery personality will make you happy you suffered through all the morning sickness. Also, she’s a forbidden delicacy by AMA standards, so, there’s something exciting about that.
  3. Cheddar, Chedda, or any similar variation. Go ahead, celebrate that Northern European ancestry. Perfect for your little red-headed baby just waiting to break his or her sharp thoughts into this world. He or she will be forever regarded as the boss of mainstream.
  4. Havarti. This name is so masculine and firm it would slay just about any baby modeling agency recruiter. Think about that if you want your child to have a career.
  5. Roumy. It’s ancient, it’s earthy, it’s African, and just waiting to enhance the quality of your life. Your veggie kebab is meaningless without Roumy, and your veggie kebab is your life.
  6. Paneer, Panir, Panira. You just make the world a better place– you take dishes that might have too much intensity and spice to a manageable level, and a baby with this name will temper the world the same way. If you have an insane family, raise a baby named Paneer to reduce stress levels. He/she will obviously be good at yoga.
  7. Chimay. This baby was conceived after a night of blissful Belgian ale drinking, and that’s not a bad thing. Pronounced Shim-ay.
  8. Halloumi, Halumy, Halloumia. This is a child made to withstand the heat. Much like his or her cheese counterpart, this baby does not melt under pressure. A born leader.
  9. Bleu. No, not the French version of Queen Bey’s baby– this is the delicate, artistic, and deeply flavorful child you’ve waited your whole life for. The mold is his/her old soul.
  10. Raclette. Another French one– trendy, inspiring, and goes with the flow. Melts easily, tastes like happiness in river form.
  11. Weisslacker. You don’t love this child, he or she wasn’t in your plan.
  12. Feta. Did you know feta is a government-protected cheese? Your baby is your pearl, white and shiny like feta, and you will protect it forever.
  13. Ricotta. Smooth, delicate, with a soul like velvet.
  14. Manchego. Aren’t you just the manliest little bull fighting fetus in town?
  15. Gruyere, Gruyera. Only for the sassiest, nuttiest, most charismatic of children.
  16. Labne, Labna. Smooth, creamy, pure, and able to adapt to just about any war in the Middle East.
  17. Cotija. She’ll be a woman who knows how to get what she wants– Mexican food. She’s smart.
  18. Colby. A more feminine version of “Cheddar” and born only on American soil. Canadians cannot use this name.

About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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