1. Play spin the bottle, 7 minutes in heaven, or truth or dare. I remember playing these games when I was as young as five, and thinking about all the horrible things I would one day do when I finally found out what sex was. I have a feeling these games are a lot more fun now that we are adults and know how amazing it is to insert your genitals into something.
2. Build a fort. When you are young there is nothing better than taking all the pillows and blankets in the house and created a grand castle-like structure for you to lounge in. Now that you are an adult it a pillow fort is a great place to drink a bottle of tequila and lament the fact that you obviously don’t have a job or you wouldn’t have the time to build said fort.
3. Climb a tree. Sure its a lot easier now that we can basically just reach up and haul ourselves using a branch, but now as adults trees become great places to spy on people. Facebook stalking is all well and good, but grabbing some girlfriends, climbing a tree outside your ex-boyfriends house and video taping him masturbating is even better. Hot Pockets and Bagel Bites are delicious, but revenge tastes even better.
4. Lie to your parents. Go to their house and do something bad, such as breaking the urn that they keep your grandmother’s ashes in, or dropping a king-sized deuce in their bathroom and clogging up the toilets. When they ask you about it, blame it on the maid whilst snickering. When they call you out, wag your tongue at them and drive the fuck away, all the while relishing in the fact that they no longer have any power over you.
5. Have a sleepover. Remember when you were a kid and having a bunch of friends over to watch movies all night sounded like the greatest thing in the world? Imagine doing it now, with sexy friends, liquor, and porn. I have a feeling that sleepovers involved a lot more sleeping when we were kids.
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