Spring Break in the 90s was the highlight of your life. The one thing that made you choose the high-impact aerobic step class over the low-impact class, hit the tanning booth more (for a base tan) and inspire you to find the skankiest outfits.
1. You could hang in the (warm) pool all day with 300 if your closest friends without a worry about getting pregnant. (The Dateline Special Report didn’t come out until the 2000s)
2. Visors were ahead of their time and pretty F’in sweet. No matter if you wore them frontwards, backwards, sideways, cocked about 45 degrees of the left of your forehead or upside down (WHAT UP YO?), visors were the shit. You could still spike your hair or wear your mane without hat head because these puppies were the convertible of hats – free air conditioning included.
3. Speaking of keeping your hair lookin’ tight, don’t forget to sit on the beach for 3 hours to get your authentic hair braids with those Rastafarian plastic beads and shit. Rock them for a few days on the beach and in the club and then head back to school and walk around with that “I just came back from Spring Break” look for at least 2 weeks.
4. Hot body contests were actually easier to compete in. This is before people became size 00 and no-carb diets. Sign yourself up, give the announcer a fake name, chug your Corona, take a few tequila shooters and get your drunk ass out there to rep your home state! Oh, and if you ended up on someone’s throw-away camera or video camera, you probably wouldn’t see it again because well Facebook or Youtube wasn’t around. And don’t worry about mobile phones, Motorola Star-tac flip phones were only analog.
5. Dance with the Devil. If you went to Acapulco, you remember this silvery fire-yielding scary man that only seems normal in your drunken Spring Break haze. But every night when “The Devil” would come out and they would blast his hypnotic theme song, you were ready to unce-unce til’ your tube top came off.
6. You had a seasoned Spring Break tour company that managed your party schedule. You just had to wear all of those damn wristbands for an entire week. Some people even wore them for months after they got home. (LAME).
7. Body glitter was actually part of your nightly “getting ready” regimen. The more your body shined in the club lights, the better chance you had of attracting a hammered dude who likes shiny boobs.
8. The chips ‘n salsa diet. Let’s face it, there’s wasn’t much time for eating with all of the drinking and grinding going on, but if you did have time you’d only order chips ‘n salsa. Otherwise you could be sick all week because of some dude named Montezuma.
9. It was totally normal to show off just the tip of your thong during the Thong Song. Because who cares, you and your whale tail were “livin la vida loca.”
10. Getting back home and jammin’ the club CD mixtape on repeat made Spring Break last all year long.
