FASHION SHINFO

Rant of the Week: Why is This Dog More Stylish Than I Am?

menswear dog
Written by Gary

It is a sad, sad day when you realize that a dog is more stylish than you are. The Menswear Dog is one blogger’s way of featuring menswear trends in a playful way, and I am ashamed to say that a dog is more stylish than me.

menswear dog

So in the spirit of that, here are three reasons that the menswear dog has more fashion sense than I do.

1. The Menswear Dog has four legs, and I only have two. This means that if we are both wearing Common Projects Derby shoes, the dog will win out because 4 feet means 4 shoes, and that is double the fashion. Do you see the arithmetic behind it all?

2. The Menswear Dog is constantly covered in a natural fur coat, and fur = fashion. If fur wasn’t so stylish, jealous haters wouldn’t be constantly throwing flour bombs and buckets of blood on the Olsen twins. I am pretty sure they got to Kim Kardashian too, but ironically she wasn’t actually wearing fur. She is Armenian, and thus has armpit bushes as big as Bethesda Fountain.

3. Menswear Dog has a much easier life than I do. When you have someone to literally scoop up your shit, you have a lot more time to spend on fashion and the pursuit of style. Some mornings when I wake up, peering out at the world from inside my hangover, I have to grab the first flannel shirt I can find just to make it to work on time. Menswear dog has no such responsibilities.

Thus, I concede that a canine has more fashion sense than I do.

But at the end of the day, I still have my balls.

BOOM.

menswear dog

menswear dog

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About the author

Gary

Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall