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Burger King Takes on Brunch; Metropolitan Areas Sigh

Written by Steph

Burger King, LEAVE BRUNCH ALONE

Everyone’s favorite misogynistic fast food chain, Burger King, has announced that they will continue to make questionable business choices by implementing a brunch menu. Because when I wake up after a long night out on the town, the first thing I think is, “Man. Mass-produced, over-processed meat remnants would really hit the spot right now.”

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Among other unsavory items, the menu will include Cibatta sandwiches, the Whopper, and beloved brunch drink, the mimosa. Except this mimosa consists of orange juice and Sprite. Sprite contains no caffeine, and the redeeming qualities of this “mimosa” only shrink from there. I mean… Sprite and OJ is not a mimosa. It’s a drink that you concoct when you’re eight years old and left to navigate the refrigerator on your own.

BK Brunch will begin its reign of terror in Massachusetts, Florida, and Canada, but beware– your town could be next.  Honestly… Burger King, just leave brunch alone. If alcohol isn’t served, it’s only breakfast. Besides, the thought of purchasing brunch at a drive-thru is heinous.

About the author

Steph

a born-and-bred Brooklyn brunette prone to excessive alliteration. Follow her on Twitter @omgstephlol. Read more here.

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